Nobody cares about what you do, nobody pays attention to the minute flaws that seem so magnified to you. Everyone is probably thinking the same way about themselves. Even if they did notice your flaws, they do not spend more than five minutes of their time talking or thinking about it, but you let it affect your peace for the entire day, perhaps even your whole life whenever you are confronted with similar circumstances that trigger your insecurities.
I say stand up for yourself through it. Do what's of utmost importance for your own well-being. I know the chatter in the head goes like "Hey! look at that word you just used that's not so impressive" or " Everybody is thinking you suck! They can see through you and figure out that you are good for nothing so why even attempt to do it?" or "Whatever you are about to say is going to be worthless, so keep shut!". You know that crappy feeling that you get when you fail yourself, not because you did not get the desired result but because you did not even try as your ears were occupied with these voices in the head. Because you preferred to not step outside of your comfort zone!
Each and everyone of you are immensely talented in your own unique way. Now I am not just saying this for encouragement's sake but I say this because I know it, I can feel it. How would I know? You might ask, I have never even seen your faces! That's a good question but we are all made of the same stuff. Find where your interest lies, nobody's born a great singer or a great public speaker or a great writer. Shreya Ghoshal did not come out into the world singing 'Munbe vaa', the first sound that she ever would have made would've been a cry. We are all born with interests, the choice to pursue it lies with you. Prodigies are people who love and become passionate about an interest of theirs at an early stage of life. The key here is loving and being passionate about what you do, embracing whatever follows that path. They develop their talent further like a mother nurtures her baby in the womb, with love and care. Doesn't the motherly instincts naturally kick in right after you know you are going to be a mother? It is like that, they follow instinct. If you haven't found your path, you probably haven't come out of survival mode yet. Try to live first, things will unfold on its own. Why am I talking at length about talent?!
Coming back, fears.. I feel my heart being pressed down to the lowest possible extent when I don't do what my heart wants me to do. It is because the heart knows that I do it so well, that it is, in fact, something that I enjoy doing, something I am meant to do but do not have the courage to do so. The suppression feels terrible, one of the worst feelings ever, it eats you up. I decided to stand up for myself. It did not matter if I did it the proper way or not, I just had to do it, because that felt better than not doing anything about it!
This is the first step, keep doing it inspite of what the voices tell you until these voices disappear for good. I don't suggest fighting with yourself but treat it like a roommate you don't connect well with. Give her/him their space, you do your own thing.
PS: if my post resonates with you, you can share your experience with fear and anxiety if you'd like!
コメント